Bert: Ernie .... Ernie .... Ernie, I'm tired of that program .... Ernie, we've been watching television all day [or for several hours?] and I'd like to play a record now .... Ernie?

Ernie: Shh, Bert! Keep it down, I'm trying to watch television.

Bert: Okay, smart guy, you watch your ol' TV. I'm going to play a record anyway.

[Bert promptly marches back to the record player, starts playing jazzy music and dancing to it. Note: the TV, record player, etc., are continuous throughout the arguement.]

Ernie: Bert?! BERT! Hey, I can't hear the television! [No response] Bert?! Okay, if that's the way you want to be about it .... [he goes over the radio, turns it on loudly, starts humming along] (This is where I get lost, as there is so much noise to hear either clearly.)

Bert: Ernie! Alright Ernie! [whereupon he runs over to the blender and turns that on] Alright, HERE!

[By now the place is full of noise.]

Ernie: OH YEAH?!

Bert: YEAH! YOU LIKE IT??!

Ernie: OH YEAH!!

(POOOOOOOOF! All the lights go out, the sounds quit, we see only Ernie & Bert's eyes floating in the total blackness.)

Bert: Well now, look, you blew a fuse.

Ernie: Oh yeah, well it was your idea turning on the dumb mixer.

Bert: (resignedly, after a pause) Look, .... Ernie .... how about you go around and turn off all that stuff we turned on, and I will ... I'll go and try to fix the fuse. [Bert's eyes wander off. Ernie's eyes go all over as he steps from switch to switch, snapping each off with a loud CLICK.]

Ernie: Okay .... first there's the mixer (or radio?) ..... then there's the radio (or mixer?) ..... over here, okay, over here the television .... and one more, back there--the phonograph! Yeah .... that's got 'em .... yeah ....

(Suddenly the lights go back on, Bert returns. He and Ernie start playing cards during the following dialogue:)

Bert: Look, Ernie, I'm--I'm sorry about playing a record while you were watching TV ...

Ernie: Yeah, well I'm sorry about turning on the radio ...

Bert: Well, and I'm sorry about turning on the blender ...

Ernie: Yeah, and I'm sorry, I shouldn't be watching so much television ...

Bert: Well, we really shouldn't be doing stuff like that anyway ...

Ernie: Yeah, we really shouldn't, after all ....

[fade out]