I brush my teeth, and look in the mirror

And laugh out loud as I'm beaming from ear to ear

I'd rather pick flowers instead of fights

And rather than flaunt my style

I'd flash you a smile of clean pearly whites



I've been to the dentist a thousand times so I know the drill

I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair

But somehow I still get the chills

"Have a seat" he says pleasantly

As he shakes my hand, and practically laughs at me

"Open up nice and wide" he says peering in

With a smirk he says "don't have a fit this'll just pinch a bit"

As he tries not to grin



When hygienists leave on long vacations

That's when dentists scream and lose their patience



Talking only brings the tooth aches on

Because I say the stupidest things

So if my resolve goes South

I'll swallow my pride with an aspirin, and shut my mouth



Golf and alcohol don't mix

And that's why I don't drink and drive

Because, good grief I'd knock out my teeth

And have to kiss my smile goodbye



I've been to the dentist a thousand times so I know the drill

I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair

But somehow I still get the chills