Brad and Suzy lived in a movie
Cardboard cutout superheroes and
Paragons on barstools
She was a professional teller machine user
He was your basic beautiful loser
They had no worries all they ever had was cool
And I wish that I was Brad and Suzy, I really do
I wish that I was stuck on someone
I wish that I was half of a two
I wish that we were like that baby
I wish sometimes you'd love and hate me

Pa-pa-pa-pow
Pa-pa-pa-pow

The Sigma Chis imbibed, decried
And tried to pry him from his
Little Delta Tri-Omega Chi Fi Mu Hoddi Toddi A-D-Pi and Theta
But she wouldn't let them
Idiot

'Cause her heart was as big as the world
And she was his first loving girl
And he swore he'd stand by her forever
And late at night, drunk on wine
They'd fall in bed and intertwine
And they'd make love then like nobody never
And I wish that I was Brad or Suzy