Words and music by John Kay

Good evening one and all, this is channel 24
Bringing you the latest news around the world
Down in Florida today, someone tried to get away
When he commandeered the train at Disney World
Until noon it was a standoff, but then he lost his luck
When someone shot him down, dressed up like Donald Duck
It was a midget G-man
And we're sorry that we could not show it live
But we'll have film of the shooting here at five

Give me some news I can use, let me smile for a while
For the madness has taken it's toll
Give me some news I can use, just a break for the sake
Of my mind which is losing control

From Washington today, called a senator to say
That our future has been cancelled 'cause we're broke
We called the white house without end finally reached the President
Says he don't know if it's real or just a joke
And last night at the playoffs, things got pretty grim
They crucified the referee and tore him limb from limb
Ah, you should have been there
And in the weather, there's a hurricane in sight
And that's the way it is with us tonight