Gonna tell you a story that you won't believe
But I fell in love last Friday eveninWith a girl I saw on a bar room T.V. screen

Well I was just gettin' ready to get my hat
When she caught my eye and I put it back
And I ordered myself a couple o' more shots and beers

The night that I fell in love with a Roller Derby Queen
Round and round, oh round and round
The meanest hunk o' woman
That anybody ever seen
Down in the arena

She was five foot six and two fifteen
A bleached-blonde mama
With a streak of mean
She knew how to knuckle
And she knew how to scuffle and fight

And the roller derby program said
That she was built like a 'fridgerator with a head
Her fans call her "Tuffy"
But all her buddies called her "Spike"